My baby is growing up...

Tonight, I gave Mason his bedtime bottle like always (shhhh, it's our little secret!) and then tried to rock him to sleep, like always.  I rocked him for about 20 minutes, and he just fidgeted and squirmed the entire time.  I finally decided to lay him in his bed and let Terry have a shot at getting him to sleep, since he's had a lot of luck lately.  I laid Mason down, and he immediately curled up and didn't make a sound as I walked out of the room and closed the door...he went to sleep all by himself and I haven't heard a peep since then.  I was totally shocked - normally if he wakes up while I'm leaving the room, he has a complete meltdown, and now it doesn't even phase him!  It makes me a little sad that my baby is growing up so fast - I feel like the bottle and rocking were the last bit of "baby" I had to hold on to.  I'm so proud of him for going to sleep on his own, but I'm sad too.  =(

Daycare this week has been better - he still cries when I drop him off, but today they went on and on about what a great day he had!  I'm so glad it's starting to get a little easier!

Two weeks down...

We have officially completed two weeks of daycare, and one week of school (for me!)  I'm not gonna lie - it's been a very difficult couple of weeks, but I can see a tiny glimmer of a possible light at the tunnel down the road...

Drop-off is still the hardest.  As soon as we pull into the parking lot, Mason starts crying.  Some days it's worse than crying - more like screaming - but other days, it's this horrible, pitiful little cry that tugs at my heart like he's saying "Mommy, how can you stand to be away from me all day?" 

*Sigh*  I realize that my thought processes are probably a little deeper than my 17 month old's, but I feel such tremendous Mommy guilt, and seriously, if you could see how different he is, you would scold me for leaving him there too.  He's not the same happy kid that he was during the summer, and it kills me.  He's spent most of his evenings the last two weeks crying and fussing, no matter what we do to console him.  I'm sure he's tired, but I feel like a small part of him is mad at me, and he wants to make sure I know it.

I'll probably sound totally contradictory, but I do have to say that I LOVE our daycare.  If we're going to have to do this, we definitely picked the right place.  They love on him and cuddle him, and it does my heart good to know that they are taking good care of him.  They also don't mind at all if I call once...or ten times a day...to check on him. 

Pick up is the best in that I get to cuddle with him, but as soon as he sees me he starts crying, no matter what he was doing or how happy he was only seconds earlier.  I've been told that he's playing me, and I'm sure there's truth to that, but I still think there's a part of him that wants me to know he's sad.

Now that I've bummed myself out, I'll try to lighten the mood a bit.

The other night, after I gave Mason his bath, we were sitting in the bathroom brushing his teeth...or at least attempting to.  It turned into somewhat of a battle when he decided he was done, and I decided he wasn't.  I was holding onto the handle of the toothbrush trying to finish up, and he grabbed the head of the brush and absolutely shocked me by breaking the head right off.  I totally couldn't believe he was able to do that, but I got a picture as proof.

Every morning before we leave for school, we sit on the couch while Mason drinks his sippy cup of milk and eats a few Cheerios.  Most of the time when he finishes, he throws his cup on the floor and refuses anymore Cheerios, but one morning this week, I went into the kitchen to find this:

In case you're wondering, I totally didn't put his cup and Cheerios on the counter - he did it all by himself!  I couldn't believe it when I walked in the room!

Another day this week, I was washing dishes and he was playing in the kitchen with me.  I asked him to go get his bottle from the night before that was laying in the hallway floor for some reason.  Without hesitation, he walked right to the hall and got it, and brought it right to me!  I just couldn't believe that he understood exactly what I wanted, and he actually did it!

As long as I'm bragging about my kid - he's really getting down the body parts now.  He knows ears, nose, lips, and belly button.  And tonight we found out that he knows that a horse says "neigh!" Until today, EVERYTHING with 4 legs barked, so we were very excited that he knew another animal! 

And I guess that's where that tiny pinprick of a light at the end of the tunnel comes back into play - after just two weeks, I can tell that he's learned a lot.  I just have to keep reminding myself how smart he's going to be after all that time in daycare!

Daycare, Day 3

Days one and two of daycare were deceivingly easy - I found out today just how difficult it could be.  When I took Mason in, he already knew what was coming and was holding on tight.  I cuddled with him a bit and then Ms. Stephanie said she would take him.  When she took him, he started crying and leaning back over to me - I had to kiss him and get out of there.  Fast.  I barely made it out of the room before I started crying.  They let me watch him on the monitor, and it took him a few minutes to calm down.  The good news was that I got to see how the teachers reacted, and they were giving him lots of attention and cuddles.  I (of course) cried all the way to work.


I called to check on him around 9:00, and they were on their way out to recess - Justin (the owner's husband/office manager) said he looked like he was doing fine.


When I got there this afternoon, I peeked in the window and he was cuddled up on Ms. Deon's lap and looked so sad.  As soon as he saw me, he came straight to me and cuddled once again.  They said he had a rough day and was easily upset most of the day.  It broke my heart to know that he was sad all day - probably wondering where his Mama was and why on earth she deserted him here.  =(


Amanda (the owner) assured me that things would get better, but she said that they might get worse first. Say a prayer for us - I'm ready to be past this difficult stage!

First Day of School

Today was Mason's first day at daycare and my first day back at work.  I've been building it up in my mind for weeks - I just knew he was going to scream and panic and I was going to cry and blubber, but thankfully only one of those things happened!

We got there around 7:15 and headed to his room.  I gave the teachers all of his things and hugged him and said bye.  When I stepped over the baby gate, he fussed just a bit and came to give me kisses, but he was so distracted and fascinated by the new room and all the kids, he didn't even notice when I left.  I snapped a quick picture and barely made it out the door before I started crying.  

I called around 10:30 to check on him, and all they said was that he was doing great!  I decided not to probe further just in case they were lying.  =)

When I went to pick him up, I watched him through the window for a minute before going in.  He was playing in the corner with another boy and looked like he was having fun.  He saw me and got a funny look on his face like "Hey, I know you!"  When I went in, he smiled at me but didn't come running like expected - at least not until I held my arms out for him and then he cuddled with me all the way to the car. 

I was completely shocked when they said he ate well AND took a great nap!  I never, ever thought that they would be able to get him to sleep on a mat on the floor on the first day, but they did!  They even said he had fun gluing red tissue paper to construction paper!  =)

I'm so glad that things went so smoothly today despite the fact that I missed my baby like crazy.  I hope the smoothness continues so this transition will be as painless as possible for both of us!

Random thoughts...

I've tried to post several times lately, but Mason's been taking really short naps, and sometimes I just can't think of what to say.  I'm afraid my entire post will be filled with my sadness over sending him to daycare next week, so sometimes it's just easier not to post. 

So I'm going to try to focus on the great things about daycare...

1. He'll have so many friends to play with
2. He'll have lots of structure
3. He will hopefully starting eating better
4. He'll build up his immune system
5. He'll learn a lot through the daycare's awesome curriculum and the other kids...
6. And that's about all I can come up with. 

Part of me just wants to get the first week or two over with, so we can both be in a routine and past the hardest part. 

There's so much I'm going to miss about being with him every day...

1. Lounging around in our pajamas all morning
2. Eating breakfast on the couch
3. Sesame Street
4. Going shopping and letting him hold a toy through the whole store, and then putting it back when he forgets about it
5. Watching him eat his grilled cheese sandwich
6. Going swimmng (we didn't do this nearly enough!)
7. Napping when he naps, or having a few minutes to just sit
8. And I can think of lots more in this category...

I'm thankful for my job.  I have many opportunities that most working moms don't, so I'm thankful for that.  =)

And here's my picture overload for the day:

This picture melts my heart...

My handsome rear facing little man...

I have more but that handsome little boy just woke up!

Funny Faces of Mason

Need I say more?

Broke my blog...

*Sigh*  In trying to change my background, I broke my blog.  My archives and blogs I read are now at the bottom and I can't figure out how to fix it.  My picture at the top is not centered which drives me CRAZY.  I do like that my posts are wider, but the rest is bugging me.

Buuuut, I do have an awesome little boy to perk me up.  We've been having so much fun together, I can't even let myself think about what happens in three short weeks.  =(