Savor the Moment

When Mason was first born, and up until he was about 4 months old, I feel like I was really good at savoring every moment.  I didn't stress out about dishes or laundry being done.  I didn't care if the floor had been vacuumed, or if the living room had been dusted.  What I cared about was enjoying every single moment that I had with my precious little boy.  Those things still typically got done, at some point, but that wasn't my focus, it wasn't a cause of stress in my life.  I am very proud that I can look back and know that for those four months, my son was my focus. 

So what happened after 4 months?  I went back to work.  In some ways, I feel like that changed SO much.  I began to get stressed out when he wouldn't sleep at night instead of enjoying the extra cuddles, because I was worried that I wouldn't be awake or alert for work.  I worried when the dishes weren't done because I only had thismuch time to get them done.  Instead of getting on the floor to play with him, I have often watched him from the couch because I'm grading papers, or doing lesson plans, or responding to emails - because I was worried that it won't get done.  Notice a pattern here? 

It finally took a long conversation from my thoughtful husband to snap me back to reality.  (Poor guy, I'm not always easy to live with, believe it or not!)  The dishes will wait until tomorrow.  Papers will eventually get graded, and somehow lesson plans will get done.  But, my baby is only a baby for a little while and it is my privilege and responsibility to enjoy every moment.  Even if it means he is up for the third time that night, and my alarm is going off in 10 minutes.  In 10 years, I don't want to look back and regret the things that I made priorities.  While my job is important and my students are important, my son is so much more important.  So my goal is to stop worrying and start living.  I know that sounds cheesy, but it's really how I feel.  I think this says it best:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  Matthew 6:27

So tonight, when he is up for the second or third time, and seems to be wide awake, I will remind myself how blessed I am, and I will squeeze him extra tight!